today i was feeling lazy. but not the laid back lazy that is enjoying the down time. instead it was the kind of depressed because of the un-eventfulness of the day kind of lazy. the day was kind of eventful though... maybe there was some boredom mixed in there too.

anyway, i decided to go running. because i want to exercise more and be healthier so that when i get older i'm not immobile. i was enjoying it in the beginning, but as i continued i realized that running is not fun. like it doesn't feel all that great at all. but there's apart of me that wants to continue to run because of that fact. because it's not enjoyable and kind of hard to get out and do. a sort of dying to yourself thing i guess.

sometimes i think of the people who can't run and play like most of us can because they have some sort of disability. sometimes i try and wonder how they feel when they see people running around... like how much they would love to be free like that. i know some people like that, young people.

part of me wants to run because of that too. because i have the ability you know? most of us have the ability but we don't take much advantage of it. we don't really think much about these kinds of blessings.. most of us don't really care.

I've been praying that God would give me a deeper appreciation for life... whenever I remember to at least